UNKNOWN BY ESSENCE MOORE
34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 18
I turn and face my mother and as I take a breath my heart breaks. I feel slightly lightheaded. The tears are welling up in my eyes and I’m unable to hold them in, they fall down my face ruining my make-up.
I take another deep breath and I say to my mother: “It pains me to bring you to my session to reveal what I am about to reveal to you, and it pains me even more of the hurt that I am sure will follow after I’m done saying what I have to say.”
She remains silent.
I tell my mother, “Mommy I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and the reason I have this is due to the sexual abuse I suffered as a child.”
The air seems thicker now.
“No one knew this, I have kept this to myself for a little over twenty years. I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to hurt or think there was something you could have protected me from, because you are a great mother and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. I just decided I would shoulder the burden and try to forget about it.”
I waited for my mother’s response.
She asked, “Who did this to you?”