34THPARALLEL MAGAZINE ISSUE 38
CANDOR, EVEN WITH ONESELF
AUDREY J GORDEN
HOW I WAS BLOCKED ON TWITTER
RED PARROT FISH
(THE STRANGE STORY OF TEACHING)
JAMES A BIRD
Listen. Fuck high school. Can I say that? It’s like a disease, a terminal disease, all right? Am I being like too real for you? Mr Nowhere Man? I’m just saying, some people never get over high school. It kills them. Okay.
Think of it like The Wizard of Oz. I know. I was in The Wizard of Oz as a freshman. Munchkin Number Four. Ask anyone who saw it. They remember one thing. The munchkin who slapped Dorothy on the ass as she headed off on The Yellow Brick Road. Munchkin Number Four. Squeaky little voice. “Good Luck, Honey!” Now if you want to know about high school, you think about Dorothy on that Yellow Brick Road. That’s high school. Only think of The Yellow Brick Road as Cancer. “Dorothy,” Glinda says to her, “the tests came back positive. You’ve got Yellow Brick Road.” And she never gets over it. She’s clutching all her friends and trying to get home again, and she’s like all us desperate high school kids clutching all our strange friends. And they are strange friends, right? Some have no brains, some have no heart, no courage. Right?...